Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
