rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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