Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
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