Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
