Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
