He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
