Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
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