Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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