if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
