Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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