and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
