just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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