I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
