At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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