he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
