You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
True but thats because hes a fetus.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
