we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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