how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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