What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
