I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
