I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
