Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
