I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
