There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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