She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
