Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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