My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
