The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
