I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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