Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
