Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
