why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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