no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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