Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
