His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm just crazy horny about you
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
