Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
not ubering you a puppy
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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