...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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