Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
