What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
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