I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
