Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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