I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I think my moral compass just broke
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
