if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
