They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
