Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
