i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
