remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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