Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
