you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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