I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
It's official drugs can't kill me
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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