there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My ass is underappreciated
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I would fuck him just for his dog
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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