The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
