Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
