Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
