Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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