it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You are a genius and a whore.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
