sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
