It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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